Self Respect

Let me begin by asking you the following questions.

Do you take care of your body?

Do you practice safe sex, if you even have sex?

Do you practice self love?

Do you do what makes you happy without harming the ones around you?

Did you answer yes to those things? If you did, you respect yourself. You can sleep with 20 guys in one week and still respect yourself. You can have an abortion and respect yourself. You can take nudes and respect yourself. You can date shitty guys, not knowing what you’re getting yourself into and respect yourself. You can give a guy with a bad reputation a chance and still respect yourself. Not respecting yourself is not taking care of yourself and your needs and even your wants. If you don’t have safe sex, you’re not respecting yourself. If you’re getting with guys you know are trouble for you specifically, you’re not respecting yourself. If you’re not happy with yourself because of bad decisions you’ve made, knowing it was not a good decision, you’re not respecting yourself. You can be a total asshole to everyone and still respect yourself (not saying that’s right, but it’s very possible). You don’t know if someone respects themselves and who doesn’t. Stop saying “oh she doesn’t respect herself” because she takes nudes or has lots of sex or dresses a certain way. Unless she tells you “I don’t respect myself” or you know her personally and you know she’s very unhappy and obviously isn’t taking care of herself, don’t assume she doesn’t because you don’t know. You should never tell someone they don’t respect themselves because if they don’t, they more than likely are already aware of it. Also, I directed this mostly at women because women are the ones usually doing this.

Pro-choice for men

This is probably an unpopular opinion and it might piss some of you off, sorry if I do! Just looking at a different perspective – fair warning!

Alright, so teenage boys and young men… most don’t want to be parents yet and most aren’t ready for parenthood. I don’t really see how it’s fair to force a man to be a father when we don’t force women to be mothers. If a woman doesn’t want to be a mother or even pregnant she can terminate the pregnancy or go through with pregnancy and put the child up for adoption. Men don’t have that option. If the woman wants to keep the child, there’s nothing he can do about it and everyone guilts him into staying around even if he’s not happy, which turns into emotional abuse a lot of times. We always hear pro-choice people, like myself, saying “sex isn’t consent to pregnancy”… well, sex isn’t consent to parenthood either. We also hear “if you don’t want to go through with this, that’s okay” … for men? We hear “You have to face the consequences”… as pro-choice we get upset with people that tell women to “face the consequences of sex”. I think it’s best to stay around, definitely. If you can live happily then you stick around and help out but if you’ll be miserable, then that’s not fair for you. If she seriously needs your help, stick around until you help her find the support she needs. I don’t feel like men should feel obligated to stick around though… same with women (go single dads!!)! This exact reason is another reason why I believe there should be more support for single parents… yes, including single fathers! This includes educating people on the fact that there are support systems out there for single parents. This is a 19 year old female perspective of this. I also grew up with one parent so I know how shitty it can be but in the end, things can turn out well with the right support, which you can get. I just don’t believe in forcing anyone to be a parent, it’s not fair and can ruin peoples lives, including the child. That’s why I’m pro-choice.

p.s. just to clarify, I’m in no way suggesting it is okay to run out. I think if you don’t want to be a part of the kids life, talk about it so the one you’re leaving is at least aware of how you feel and that you don’t want to be a part of their lives. If you run out, you’re a shitty person. Communication is key, even if it causes upset.

Overcoming anger

Anger helps nothing, it solves nothing and usually makes things much worse, mostly for you. Anger is a very hard emotion to control, but it can be overcome. I honestly can’t remember the last time I truly felt angry… because I don’t get angry. I don’t see the point in it. I’ve learned that it is a pointless emotion that should be removed completely. Now, anger is different from frustration but frustration can lead to anger. You need to learn to prevent it before it happens. Let’s say you’re playing a video game, those are pretty popular. Most people get frustrated if they die repeatedly. Take a break. Even 5 minutes will do. Small things like video games are a great place to start learning to control your anger. You need to walk away, maybe go get a snack or something. Don’t forget to breathe to calm yourself down. You have to remind yourself, the angrier you get, the worse it’ll get. Sometimes you’re playing and you keep dying and you finally give up and go back to it another day. You beat that boss the first or second try! Why is that? It’s because you’re taking your time and you’re not angry. Now, apply that to things that are more important. Say you get into an argument with a friend or family member or your partner. They’re making you so frustrated. If you can, leave. Tell them you need a little break to calm yourself down and you can continue your conversation in a minute. If they won’t allow that (which is very bad, and you need to help them understand you NEED that time to help yourself) breathe. Even if it means not listening to what they’re saying, breathe and remind yourself over and over getting angry won’t do any good. A lot of people can’t control their anger issues, if you can’t, that is very common. You need to get help. Don’t be ashamed (guys, I’m directing this mostly at you). Meditation works wonders for some people! Anger issues can lead to very serious situations, especially if you don’t know how to control it. Even if you think you know how to control it, you can still lose it and we don’t want that. You don’t ever want to hurt anyone, especially a loved one. What if one day your anger gets the best of you even if you’re so sure it wont? You need to overcome your anger. Understand that getting angry destroys you more than anyone else (unless you murder someone of course…). Please learn to overcome your anger because it’s unnecessary and it’s nothing but harmful and negative. Help yourself and treat your body and mind well. Positive vibes only, remember that!  

Jealousy in relationships

Jealousy is a fear and anger based emotion and you need to learn to overcome it. If you feel jealous over a look, text, hug, friendship or anything normal, then you have a serious problem and you need to figure out how to help yourself and change your ways. Let me tell you how I feel in my current relationship, it’s the best way I can describe this. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years. I love him to death and want him to stick around for as long as we’re happy together, which I’m hoping is until death. So, obviously, I’m crazy about him. Let’s say he meets a girl at school or work, they become friends and start talking as friends. Will I get jealous? Eh, maybe a little. Why? Because I’m not super confident in myself. I’m aware of that and I’m working on that. I would never tell him to stop talking to her though. I would never restrict my loved one from friendship. If he leaves me for her, I deserve better. NOT because he’s a bad guy, but maybe because she’s better for him than me. That’s a very scary and uncomfortable thought, but it may happen. It shouldn’t tear you down in the long run though. Yeah, I’ll be sad and upset for a few days. It’ll be hard getting back on my feet for a few weeks, even months. Understandable. He left me though. I deserve better than that. I would move on with my life. If you’re working on not being jealous and you are, let your partner know! Tell them “your relationship with ______ makes me a little uncomfortable, so if I act weird, I’m sorry”. Sometimes your partner will care enough to not continue that relationship, which is perfectly fine as long as it’s not a close relationship they already had. Definitely let your partner know though, don’t be aggressive, let them know you’re working on it but it’s hard sometimes. Usually it’ll lead to a conversation that’ll make you feel much better about yourself and your relationship. Don’t restrict them though. Being jealous is also about trust too. I’m sick of seeing this bullshit comment like “I trust my partner!! I just don’t trust other people!!!”… okay, I understand that. I feel the same way in a sense, but that’s not an excuse to act psycho and not let your partner speak with and/or befriend other people (yes, including their ex’s!!!). If something happens that is the other persons doing, not your partners, trust that your partner will tell you and move past it together. It’s not like they wanted it to happen, correct? They may have let it happen, yeah, and that’s totally up to you to decide if you deserve better or not or if you consider it cheating or not. I personally believe in second chances, even in cases of cheating, but if you feel you deserve better, then you know sooner rather than later so you’re not wasting more of your time with them. (p.s. please don’t be mean to your ex’s, just move on. Being mean is just immature and rude. I don’t care what they did). You easily jealous people won’t want to hear this, but getting jealous is very childlike and exposes who you really are. It shows how insecure you truly are, how little you trust your partner and how unhealthy your relationship is (major jealousy is very unhealthy for a relationship and causes stress because most times you’re restricting your partner from certain things – overly jealous people, you are/can be abusive). If you’re a jealous person, please work on that. You won’t ever have a truly happy or healthy relationship if you’re a jealous person. The change won’t happen over night, it’s like people with anger issues. It takes work, but you need to work on it and overcome it. Jealousy tears people apart, turns people against each other, promotes hatred and leads to nothing but anger. Be strong enough to admit you need to change, then go to that next step and fix your faults. Everyone has them, don’t be ashamed unless you’re not helping yourself. Remember, positive vibes only. 🙂

Female Privilege.

We’re going to talk about the privileges women have in todays society. Women still need a lot of help towards equality, more than men definitely, but we can not forget about men! Women have this special thing where if you get a divorce it’s usually always the mens fault, even if he’s a good father, he might not be able to see his children often. Another thing is, men are always forced to pay child support, people will get on him about it if not. Women? Nah. No one gets on their ass about paying. It’s not fair. Now it’s one thing if he or she can’t pay but it’s another thing if they can or they can later in life. You pay them back, especially if they struggled. I don’t care what your gender is. I don’t care what you have gone through in the past. If you have the money, you pay them like you should. That is a huge privilege women get in society and it’s not fair at all. A good father deserves everything a good mother would have. Another female privilege is free or cheaper things, especially entry fees to clubs and parties. Now, how is that fair? If there’s nights where it’s cheaper or free for women, they should have it for men too. That’s just my opinion though. I never understood that. We’re about to get pretty serious, lets talk about support for men. Specifically men in abusive relationships or that have been raped/sexually harassed. There are support groups out there but all I ever hear about it women’s shelters. It happens to men all the time, yeah, maybe not as much, but it does happen and they need and deserve just as much support as women. We really need to work on that because that’s very important. We need to accept the fact that men can be raped/sexually harassed and they don’t like it. They can get emotionally damaged from that. It will stick with them. They do need help. We also need to accept the fact that anyone can be abusive, including women. We have to remember that abuse isn’t always physical too. Men need more support in these situations and we, unfortunately, don’t give it to them enough. These are the main and most serious things I’ve noticed in society that aren’t fair towards men. I’d like to hear what people have to say about this. Any thoughts? Did I leave anything big out? Thanks for reading!